advice
12/09/2009
Who makes better
lovers then friends
lovers then friends
Hi, I am 35 and single. I am ok with that, or used to it at any rate. My last serious relationship was with an emotionally, psychologically abusive man and we were both alcoholics. Long story short the relationship ended with him committing suicide.I swore I would never let another man touch me ever again after that. That was 7 years ago. I did attempt dating a couple of times, but am skittish, and the men werent really good for me. I have over the last 3 years sobered up and have done alot of work on self esteem and taking care of myself. I am however horribly aware that I have never had a sober normal relationship in my life and dont know where to begin to find one or attract one. I am comfortable being with myself and dont just want to be in a relationship for the sake of having someone there but I would like some male company in my life...help!
I think you have a very rough life and it is normal to feel skittish. I am also happy to hear that you have been putting your life back together and are sober. I think the first thing you should know is that when trying to date again try to go slow. Go to places where good men would be. Go to church or meetings or groups that have interest that you do such as a book club, an art group places where you can meet people with similar interest. While you are there you will meet men. How about AA meetings. Start with talking to them as a friend then maybe go out as friends and then as you are more comfortable maybe try dating. One step at a time. You need to comfortable with what you are doing in order to feel comfortable dating. Try to start with just being their friends. Who makes better lovers then friends.
I think you have a very rough life and it is normal to feel skittish. I am also happy to hear that you have been putting your life back together and are sober. I think the first thing you should know is that when trying to date again try to go slow. Go to places where good men would be. Go to church or meetings or groups that have interest that you do such as a book club, an art group places where you can meet people with similar interest. While you are there you will meet men. How about AA meetings. Start with talking to them as a friend then maybe go out as friends and then as you are more comfortable maybe try dating. One step at a time. You need to comfortable with what you are doing in order to feel comfortable dating. Try to start with just being their friends. Who makes better lovers then friends.
