advice
12/21/2009
Grandchildren?
When I met him my daughter was 4 years old. We dated for a while then he told me we had to break up because he is going to get back with his ex. He contacted me some time later saying he wants to see me again I questioned him about the woman he was seeing. He said it did not work out. He said she was moving out. He even took me in the house to show me how it was set up. He was sleeping in the basement, and she in one of the bedrooms. He complained about what he referred to as HER disrespectful daughter. Time passed on. My car broke down and he let me use his to take my daughter to school. When I got back with the car there was a woman standing in the door and he was in the yard waving me away to leave. I left. She called me on the phone saying he was her husband and that I was a punk for leaving. When Iquestioned him about this he said he did not tell me because he was hoping to get a divorce from her then he would not have to tell me. He said he only married her because he thought she was carrying his child. He said he got sentimental and wanted to do the right thing. We dated on and off over the years. Eventually, I moved to Arkansas. I asked him to drive me there and he did. He stayed there in a hotel with me until I found an apartment and he helped me to find a car. Some time laterer, he asked me to move back to Ohio. He told me about a low rent apartment I could get in by participating in some low income program that his cousin got in. I told him if I moved back I would not move in my own apartment alone. I would have to move with him. He agreed. I also told him if I move back we would have to be married. He agreed to that.
This month I came to Ohio to visit him. Eventhough it is over between him and his ex, his house is set up like rumper room. There is a kid's dinette set in the kitchen, and a kitchen play set, dollhouse and toys in the basement. I asked him why they were still there. He said they belonged to his ex's daughter's kid. His grandkid. I told him he said that the daughter was not his. He said that he raised her as his, and that is why the kids are his grandkids. And I said is that a fact? He said that he thought that I would have known because he was keeping them sometimes when he talked to me on the phone.
I told him he told me he was being nice by trying to help them out. And that he said they were driving him crazy, and he wished they would move. And he said that the daughter would not even be there if it were not for her mother being there.
He said that it was the ex wife who was driving him crazy not the kids.
He said that he thinks I have a problem with him caring about anyone else. He said that he would love my kids just because I love them.
What do you think of this situation?
I think you have a man here who is trying to do the right thing and not hurt any one. I remind you I am not a real Doctor but, my opinion is that this guy does love you or cares an awful lot about you. I think the reason he keeps those kids around is because he honestly loves those kids whether they are his grand kids or not and I commend him for still being a part of their lifes. It is never the kids fault how we adults conduct our lifes. He sounds like he truely will love your daughter as well. Support him in his love for those kids. Remember if he did say he was helping out there is the possiblity that this is what he was doing just then. Do kids drive you crazy? Heck yeah! I have three kids and they will drive me crazy does that mean I don't love them or want to be with them? No it just means sometimes I need a break. Just make sure that he is in love with you and he is not trying to help you out by marrying you. Love is the only reason a person should marry. Keep me posted.
Dr. Mama Love
This month I came to Ohio to visit him. Eventhough it is over between him and his ex, his house is set up like rumper room. There is a kid's dinette set in the kitchen, and a kitchen play set, dollhouse and toys in the basement. I asked him why they were still there. He said they belonged to his ex's daughter's kid. His grandkid. I told him he said that the daughter was not his. He said that he raised her as his, and that is why the kids are his grandkids. And I said is that a fact? He said that he thought that I would have known because he was keeping them sometimes when he talked to me on the phone.
I told him he told me he was being nice by trying to help them out. And that he said they were driving him crazy, and he wished they would move. And he said that the daughter would not even be there if it were not for her mother being there.
He said that it was the ex wife who was driving him crazy not the kids.
He said that he thinks I have a problem with him caring about anyone else. He said that he would love my kids just because I love them.
What do you think of this situation?
I think you have a man here who is trying to do the right thing and not hurt any one. I remind you I am not a real Doctor but, my opinion is that this guy does love you or cares an awful lot about you. I think the reason he keeps those kids around is because he honestly loves those kids whether they are his grand kids or not and I commend him for still being a part of their lifes. It is never the kids fault how we adults conduct our lifes. He sounds like he truely will love your daughter as well. Support him in his love for those kids. Remember if he did say he was helping out there is the possiblity that this is what he was doing just then. Do kids drive you crazy? Heck yeah! I have three kids and they will drive me crazy does that mean I don't love them or want to be with them? No it just means sometimes I need a break. Just make sure that he is in love with you and he is not trying to help you out by marrying you. Love is the only reason a person should marry. Keep me posted.
Dr. Mama Love
