Is he cheating on me? why is he or she?
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<Love Help, queen of body language,
< ask love advice love and relationship questions Love help Relationship cheating Relationship break up
Why does love and relationships have to hurt you ask? How can you love someone and then cheat on them? Your partner is asking, "Is he cheating on me?" How important is this relationship and your love you have? How can you hurt those who you love? Those people who are important to you? Why would you do something that could ultimately destroy your life and relationship as you know it! It is the ultimate betrayal. Love is important treat it with respect and treasure it. Never hurt it. If you hurt it you may never get it back. It can be lost forever, is it worth the risk? How would you feel if someone did that to you? Think before you do something stupid and lose what you really want.
Cheating is any time you make a commitment to someone that you will remain faithful to them and then you renege on that commitment. It can be in a marriage, an engagement or girlfriend or boyfriend situation. Any relationship where you hurt the ones you love and care about the most.
If you tell the person that you will not see anyone but then you go ahead and do it then it is cheating. Meeting someone in secret or having sex with someone other then your mate is cheating. This is a concept that so many people do not seem to get. Listen up people, cheating is cheating is cheating. There is no gray area. It is simply black and white. The letters that come in about this never ceases to amaze me.
Cheating is not just having sex with someone else it's much more then that. It can be sneaking out to go places with someone else, going on the computer with someone else in secret. Any time you are trying to hide things from your partner it is cheating. Some cheating is easier to forgive then others but no matter what it is, it still hurts.
Is it ok to cheatif he or she does it first? Is it ok if I go out some one if we are separated? Is it cheatingif I tell him afterwards? The answer is no, no, no it is not ok. It is still cheating.
Why do people cheat? If you think it is for sex you are wrong. Lust can be intoxicating caused from dopamine your body releases this during lust. It is found that it is highly addictive. It is the thrill that most people are looking for that tummy flipping feeling. Boredom has set in their own relationship and they are looking for a thrill. Going through a mid life crisis having the last fling. They want to know if they are still attractive. They usually have low self esteem and are trying to prove to themselves that they still can attract the opposite sex. There usually is no real emotional attachment to those people they are cheating with. Another reason is they have the opportunity. They must have this in addition to the above.
Opportunity is an interesting thing. Maybe you meet up with someone you use to be with, or start talking and emailing someone your kind of interested in. Then they say why don’t you meet me for coffee. You don’t tell your spouse because you know they will get upset but this in nothing. Then you start neglecting your spouse or boyfriend or girlfriend because all your time is put on this other person. This is how it all starts so innocent but becomes so deadly to your relationship
Some of the excuses given by the mate who is cheating ( some are a bit humerous)
1. I don’t love you any more
2. It’s not you it’s me
3. I felt trapped
4. I just don’t have those same feelings any more.
5. My mate just doesn’t understand me.
6. Were not in love any more
7. I didn’t mean to
8. It’s not my fault he or she started it
9.I didn’t love her or him
10. It didn’t mean anything
11. It was just one time
12. You did it so I did it
13.I was drunk
14. I was on drugs
15. I said no
16. It’s not what you think
17. I used a condom so we didn’t really touch so it wasn’t cheating
18. You would have done the same thing
Remember this guys, I hear all your excuse and I am going to tell you right now that it doesn’t matter what your excuse is. You are at all times responsible for your actions.
Affairs usually just happen. They happen many times with someone who is in close proximity: co-worker, neighbor, friend (frequently of friends with whom you socialize), etc. The other person is usually the aggressor, your spouse lacking the confidence to seek out the affair. The rationale that it happened usually the aggressor, your spouse lacking the confidence to seek out the affair. The rationale that it happened because of a lousy marriage comes after the affair is in bloom.
Once your mate has cheated it is really hard to regain that trust. If you can’t regain that trust you might as well hang it up because your relationship will be doomed. Trust is one of the most important things in a relationship. (you can read this in another article that I have written, After the Trust is Broken) If you can’t trust your mate really what is the point? When someone cheats on you that trust is broken. You were lied to, how can you ever believe anything that other person says?
Some people can rebuild the trust and relationship after your mate has cheated but often times it is to hard because you are constantly wondering if that person will do it again. The first thing you need to ask your self after your mate has cheated is do you want to rebuild this relationship? I personally don’t think I could do it. I guess I am just not that forgiving.
