Married with kids
Love and relationship advice. How to deal with kids in a new relatonship
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Keep the flames and love burning it is all about your relationship and making them work. Remembering the love when children come in a marriage is probably the most important thing that you can do to keep your relationship strong and full of love. It is important to remember that your children will some day grow up and when they leave the house it will only be you and your spouse again. It is difficult but this is how it is suppose to be. This means that you must keep the relationship and love between you and your husband healthy. Make sure that this man or woman that you are married to does not become a stranger. You don't want to wake up some day and find that you have no idea who this person is that you are in bed with.
Keep the fires burning and the love alive. This can be done by making sure you have time alone with the person you love. Do something special where only the two of you are there. Go on vacation alone, where it is just the two of you, go out to dinner and talk about things other then the kids and what they are doing. Become involved in things that both of you can enjoy a reading club, bowling team, church, choir some common interest you both can share with each other. Spend time alone in the bedroom with the door locked remaining intimate is important. Remember to shake it up a bit too! If you are one of those parents who let the children share their bed make sure that you still have plenty of alone time.
Don't forget to remember holidays and things that are important to your spouse. Remember their birthday, anniversaries, sweetest day, valentines day, Christmas. You may feel that these are not important but they are. When you are forgotten you feel bad they may tell you that it is ok but it's not. It can still hurt no matter if they say it is ok. It is not you feel that you were just not important enough for them to remember. You don't want to make them feel this way. It is a way to keep the flames and love going. Some say these are calling card holidays made up by Hallmark and maybe that is true so don't by a card pick some flowers, make a card just remember it!
Another thing I need to remind you is that you need to remember each other even when there is no special occasion. You are getting them something, "Just Because you love them" It doesn't have to cost much just something that you see that reminds you of them. Something that shows them that you are thinking about them and love them. That you care about them. Surprise them! You'll both enjoy it and it will be something else that you can share with each other.
Find an article in the paper or on the web that reminds you of them? Cut it out and give it to them. Pick flowers on the side of the road and bring it to them. It's important to take time and think about the other person.
It is important to communicate with each other about how to raise the kids. What values do you want to teach the kids? What should be punishment should you give out and what should the kids be allowed to do. When can they date, what is the curfew, are they required to be in church? These are important to know when raising kids. Don't discuss this all in front of the kids.They shouldn't know they are up for discussion They should always believe that you both are on the same page. You are a united front. You'll need this especially when your children reach the teenage years!
Don't give up on your children. Sometimes they will do things that they shouldn't or were told not to but this normal. It is the job of parents to make sure our kids stay on track, to guide them. They probably don't want to be guided but it is important to continually do this, later we will reap the rewards. My mother always told me that some day my children would rise up and call me blessed like it says in the Bible. I have with my Mother and Father and I can't wait til the day my children do!
Someday I will be able to watch my children have children and watch them go through the same challenges as their parents won't that be fun.
Get your children involved in something that they will enjoy in excel in. Find your child's gifts and talents. Some will do well at sports or maybe art maybe they will play an instrument or sing. Watch your children and start out by figuring out what their interest are and not just your interest. Just because you loved baseball doesn't mean they will too. Let your children find their own life. Our job as parents is to help our kids find their passion. This will help them stay out of trouble and keep them on the right track.
When you have your children heading in the right direction it makes it much easier for you and your spouse to maintain a healthy and loving relationship.
This is a great site for parents.
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