Find love?
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<Love Help, queen of body language,
Love advice and relationships
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Love is a decision. Many people are confused and think that the giddy feelings when your relationship first starts is love. Love is much more then your stomach flipping or the goose bumps you get when he or she touches your hand. Although it's a wonderful feeling that is not love. One must understand that this is infatuation and not true love. Love is not an emotional decision. Aristotle, he said that to love is to will good to another for the other's sake.
True love is being able to say I will love you no matter what. There is nothing in this world that will stop me. I will love you even when I don't like you or what you are doing. I will love you through all eternity. I would go through hell for you. You don't have to agree with that person or have the same beliefs. Parents tend to have this with their children but someone who is very lucky will have this with their spouse (we can if we know what we are looking for and what it is). This is the kind of love that last a life time. The kind of love when you ask those people who have been married fifty years have. The kind of love we all seek to have. It's the love that doesn't depend on how we behave but only matter that we are who we are.
How do you know if you have this type of love? The answer to that question is only time will tell. This is why it's important to date a while to see if this is the type of decision that you can make. Dating is when you figure out what type of love you have. You want to know that when you make that decision to love someone it's a permanent thing and one that you want to be sure your mate has for you. Time is something that helps us figure out if this is the type of love you want with this person. That is why so many people are fearful when someone decides to marry after a short time. They are not sure you have enough information to base your decision on. Time helps us be sure of what we are getting in to makes us sure of the commitment we are about to make.
True love puts no conditions on the relationship. It is unconditional love. Unconditional love is wanting the best for the other person, accepting who they are. You want those you love to happy, content, healthy people. We want the best for those we love. Love is expressed is when you give your attention and give your time, to someone else. Webster defines attention as “the giving of one’s mind to something." Giving of ones mind nothing is said about the heart and that is because it is a mental decision. One we need to be careful about making.
Marriage is usually the result of this decision. Unfortunately there are times when a decision to make things permanent was a poor decision and you can no longer live with this person. We have all made poor decisions in our life time but hopefully it's not in the area of love. Maybe this person is physical or mentally abusive. We all know there are relationships like this. This is when it is time to move on. This does not mean that you stop loving that person after all they are children of God too. It only means that this person is no longer a person who builds you up but rather a person that brings yo down. Staying in a relationship like this is harmful to both parties.
Leaving this type of relationship also does not mean you can never find love again. We are humans and our hearts are big and we have the capacity of loving many people in our life time. So give it freely and don't be afraid of it.
Finding love again will take time. It's rebuilding our ability to trust again. When you can trust again then a marriage or a relationship can begin.
Remember dating gives you the time to figure out what person is best for you and allows you to find someone who has similar interest and views on things which helps when you are trying to have a marriage that will last a life time.
In a marrige we want that type of love that the person will love you no matter what. We also want that tummy flipping feeling some of the time. It will arrive quickly in a new love relationship and then it will hit a valley. If you can wait it out it will peak again. It is a series of ups and downs. In the lull that is when the feeling of true loveactually comes in to play because it carries you through to the next high. It is like a roller coaster ride.
Stick with the relationship and you will find this out. Many people have trouble seeing it through the valley. You can go your whole life with out the tummy flipping feeling but you can't go with out love. There are ways to get the tummy flipping feeling back into your relationship and you can see this in my other articles.
How can anyone tell if he or she has real love, or only just chemistry that mimics love?
It is easy to see that real love can hardly develop when they are using each
other, instead of really wanting the happiness of the other. Yes, they are
giving sensory stimulation, very strong at that. But that is not the same as
love.
It 's when you look at what we have talked about it is when you love the person for who they are and are not trying to change them, we want what ever makes them happy, we want what is ever best for them and not what is best for ourselves. so basically you need to look at the facts.
True love is never associated with violence, deception, abuse (emotional, physical or verbal). True love is a constant sacrifice doing good for the well being of another person, Never is jealousy, fear or mistrust ever involved in true love. "True love always waits." And is patient, caring, kind, joyous and free! The Bible tells us a great deal about what true love is. I Corinthian 4-9 says it all.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
The Bible says it all doesn't it? It really tells us what love is. Love is the same yesterday as it is today. It's what makes the world go round.
Love is not easily angered. That's a great one and it's patient and kind. My favorite here is it keeps no record of wrong. How can that be? especially when I have done so much wrong. It is because it forgives which means in a argument which will happen now and again (which by the way that isn't the same as the anger they are talking about here). The argument doesn't bring up the past things that I have done wrong because I have been forgiven.
